"How can I have more confidence in myself?"
As a women's Boudoir photographer, this question seems to be a running theme. They want to know how can i help them gain more confidence to preapre them for a boudoir session. this is the main reason why i love what i do!
In this blog series, my ultimate goal is to provide you with a few tips on how to increase your confidence. But first, I would like to explain the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem, and why it is important to have both.
Confidence & Self-esteem: What's the difference?
Do you know the saying, "Knowledge is Power?" Well, in this case it is very true. In Alcoholics Anonymous, the first step to healing and moving forward is recognizing that there is a problem. However, if you don't accurately know what they problem is and what is means, how can you move on from it? In the case of confidence and self-esteem, It is very important to know the difference between the two so that you can begin to make your journey of healing. So, below I have laid out the main differences in such a way that if you have more "checks" in one category, that is the one you should think about working on first.
Do i have low Self-Confidence?
- I don't know what my talents and abilities are.
- When I come across a problem, I ask myself "Can I do this?"
- Not feeling like I have the skills and talents to complete a task.
- The more success I have in completing tasks and challenges, the more I feel like I can do things.
- I feel like at times I can't do a lot of things.
Do i have low Self-esteem?
- I know what my talents and abilities are but I don't accept my talents and abilities as good enough.
- When I come across a problem, I ask myself "Am I worthy enough to even try to do this?"
- Not feeling like I am good enough to complete any task I set out to achieve.
- The more success I have in completing tasks and challenges, the more I feel like I have to prove that I can do more.
- I feel like even if I were able to do a lot of things, it still would not change how I feel about myself.
confidence & Self-esteem: are they connected?
While Confidence is an assessment of your abilities and strengths, Self-esteem is an assessment of your value and worth. Self-esteem is all about how you feel about yourself. Self-confidence is all about how your feel about what you can do.
High Confidence says "Hey, I can do stuff!, and what I can do matters! I am useful."
High Self-esteem says "I know I am valuable and worthy and deserving, no matter what."
Some make the mistake of making their confidence depend on their self-esteem. They believe that because they have talents and abilities, this makes them worthy and deserving and valuable. And Vise Versa, if they don't think they have talents and abilities, they believe it is because they are unworthy, undeserving, and un-valuable. It is vital that you do not get caught up in this trap, because once you do, it will be very hard to get out. When building your self-esteem, it is vital that you build it on who you are as a person, not solely on what you can do.